“Busy Body”

We know that stress is primarily generated from the mind through an evaluation process of what our physical senses picked up from the environment. When plans don’t come together or something unexpected just “crops” up, the mind prompts for an immediate response. That is the general line of thought that our mind takes, but where along that line becomes our difficulties? It is when we choose to jump to conclusion in any given situation without engaging in a fair thought process and analysis. A case when the urge to create factions is very inviting. Putting it mildly, this is commonly known as being a “Busy Body”. “Busy Body” is an attitude more than anything else in which the impetus behind the behavioural response is the need to be critical. Every situation with uncertainties will give opportunity for “BB” to fill itself in, and leave its mark. The arena of politics is a great nesting place for “BB”.

Curiously, “BB” is a trait which sits quite comfortably with many people, except with the difference in the degree of assertiveness. What a “BB” does other than the simple term that it implies, it has the tendency to interpret a situation more than necessary leaving behind traces of emotional elements. Truth is then “twisted”, and became a lie. “BB” is grossly irritating, and that is the extend of its impact in normal circumstances. But, if “BB” shifts into “over-drive” well, it can get pretty ugly. Lies will be flipped over, and confusion takes centre stage. It is like watching a play with a curtain wall in the background. Behind the curtain wall hidden from our eyes are secrets to the play. How do we remedy this? Easy, mind your own business. No participation, no gloating. Simple, yes? Not quite! There is a bit of “BB” in all of us. Before making any denial, allow our thoughts to expand by engaging in a “self-recognition” exercise in attempt to acquire an understanding about ourselves. Experience needed to be harnessed in order for an understanding to be developed that is real enough that can be felt from the heart. Experience and understanding go hand in hand, nurturing each other in no particular order on which comes first. Humanity offers this opportunity for we are blessed.

“Self-recognition” takes us through an observation exercise by first reflecting upon ourselves. Then move our observation on to our environment starting from the home, neighbourhood and then to the workplace. For example, I recognised my wife defines me as her husband. My children define me as their father. My parents define me as their son. My brother and sisters define me as their sibling. My neighbours define me as their friends. My staffs define me as their employer. My garden plants and trees define me as their planter. My dog defines me as his reluctant walking companion, and so on. Current events too play a crucial part in our lives. Be it pleasant or not, they contain purpose. Life’s events are invitations without the cards, don’t dismiss them. Take them in our stride and grow by experiencing the good and bad that comes with them. And to grow, we need to nurture all that relationships.

Husband, father, son, sibling, friend, employer, planter and an undependable pet companion are confluence of relationships which suit me up and empower me to act in accordance to my given definition. In many ways, we are definition of a product like “ironman” from the comics. When we see the connection between ourselves, and those entities around us, we are realising our existence with its purpose. If we appreciate our existence, then we will understand due respect is to be given. That is key, “love thy neighbour as thyself” refers to respect but it also carries this message, “see yourself from the eyes of the other”. “BB” has a one track view with a handicap of not able to reciprocate the perception, much less understanding respect. Should we take the trouble to nurture every relationship, the greater our lives fulfilment will become and we grow richer at heart.

Ignoring these relationships eliminate our opportunity to grow. The effect is a proportional one as growth stuns in the absence of relationships or dependencies. When someone commits a murder, the murderer effectively destroys a part of himself, as the wrath of the commandments reveals, “thou shalt not kill”. Taking a life leaves a void. The same goes with someone who beats up his victim. The single act of aggression to vent his anger from within plotted his downfall. Unknowingly, he deprived himself of the chance where he could nurture himself from the emotional illness, rather than exorcising it. Losing the base that he needed to depend on to grow has tipped the balance. The balance will return in time, only time is limited. People harbor such emotion will continue to live in grudging bitterness. And, their emotional cycle perpetuates for as long as they remained obstinate in their narrow and selfish view.

Quite often we get all caught up with our appearances until we forget that our residence is not permanent. Our escape from this mind trap is through the reconditioning of our mind to enable perception to extend beyond the limit of our physical senses to realise purpose and meaning. It helps to set aside “BB” with the distorted and selfish thoughts to pave way for understanding and compassion. That is how we draw comfort upon ourselves and no longer allowing fear and insecurity to tear us apart. The sense of belonging and purpose unfold when it is realised that, they are us in defining our role in theirs. Emphasis must be given on the relationships and events to nurture our souls to bring recovery to our “imbalance” and in moving forward united.

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